Sex, as a concept and a physical act, was lost on us. Again, I think we were aware that we liked boobs, but I didn’t have a clear idea about what was supposed to happen afterwards. There were plenty of exchanges around the lunch table about the taboo riches hiding deep in basic cable safe harbor. But, like Brian, I do remember those commercials being an ironclad part of young adolescent society. My worst nightmare - that my parents would burst through the door, witness the sins on television and restrict me to network television and Nickelodeon - never came true. I believe all of my Girls Gone Wild explorations were solo. Personally, I never engaged in any sanctified group smut hunts. The shows all sucked after 11 p.m., so it was a game to see who could find it.” One time - and this is super weird - but everyone was trying not to stand up cause they were all fully torqued. “It was like a jackpot if we got the commercial. “I remember being around 11 or 12, and if I was staying over at a friend’s house, we would scout the three channels late at night that would air the Girls Gone Wild commercials,” says Brian, a millennial in Brooklyn who understandably wishes to remain anonymous. Formative horniness is one of the most powerful forces in the universe, so it was no surprise that some of us began to ritualize the nightly GGW hunt. If you wanted even a whiff of pornography in motion, your best bet was to cross your fingers through every commercial break. None of us had a firm grasp of the internet in 2003: Video streaming was a mystifying postulation on early Internet Explorer, and the family PC was enforced with a strict safe search ombudsman. But I don’t think anything was quite as universally enervating as the Girls Gone Wild commercials, which were essentially a highlight reel of Francis’ many sojourns into the most chaotic college campuses in America. For my demographic - dudes in their late 20s and early 30s - typical touchstones include Max’s girlfriend from A Goofy Movie, the Christina Aguilera “Dirrty” video and the NSFW tab on the Flash cartoon database. There is a rich history of men comparing notes on their earliest sexual triggers. “I beat off with this in the background every now and then for old times sake.”.“Ahhhh, the sweet sound of covertly fondling my youthful genitalia.”.“Brings back so many memories from when I was younger and would stay up all night just to see these infomercials!”.Just look at the comments that dot a YouTube video that preserves that tropical Girls Gone Wild theme in its native form. Some of the sweaty implications were lost on me - I didn’t know what going “wild” meant, and I don’t think I’d even started masturbating yet - but that didn’t stop me from pouring out of bed every time I heard those clarion steel drums.Ĭlearly, I’m not the only one. The first pornography I ever consumed consisted of heavily censored scenes from Austin, Texas Columbus, Ohio and every other hotbed of university excess, teased out three times a night from every 18-and-up club in the country. Millennials like me just happened to be caught in the crossfire. The target market was emasculated dads, several decades removed from college, willing to plunk down 25 angry, horny dollars every month to reimagine a more virile version of their glory years. But somehow, the GGW estate - and its heavy reliance on euphemism and innuendo - slipped past the censors and mesmerized an entire generation of middle school boys. Straight-up, no-holds-barred pornography was never allowed to occupy those commercial breaks, and the eternal lameness of 1-900 sex line ads never aroused me, even as a sinewy 12-year-old. In the early aughts, Girls Gone Wild - a soft-core porn franchise starring amateur college-aged women - was an everlasting presence in cable TV marketing. TV Personalities Kourtney Kardashian, Joe Francis, Khloe Kardashian,Kim Kardashian arrive at the Girls Gone Wild Magazine Launch party held at Area Nightclub on Apin West Hollywood, California. My bedroom TV was almost always tuned to Spike TV or Comedy Central - prime hunting grounds for late-night interstitial smut - and even when I was drifting off to the ethereal sounds of endless South Park reruns, my limbic system sparked back to life as soon as it sensed the spirit of Joe Francis. Nothing pierced through my pubescent sleep patterns quite like those Girls Gone Wild steel drums.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |